The local newspaper rag had a short report about the five traits that determine the coolness factor for an individual. They include: self-belief and confidence, defying convention, understated achievement, caring for others and connectivity.
How to become Cool
steveuci says: It's not so much that you should stop trying, but that you need to put yourself in a position where it comes naturally.
Step 1 is, I believe you gotta get into the mindset of putting yourself into other people's shoes and really understand what's going on in other people's heads.
Step 2, work on your communication skills to be able to put any thought you or someone else may have into words.
Step 3, refine your self-confidence and outward posture, so that when someone looks at you and passes judgment, they aren't thinking "psssh, she hasn't got a clue." This hooks into communication skills as well, because communicating something in a confident (not arrogant, not know-it-all, just... understanding, intelligent, and humble) manner is a big part of self-confidence. Pretend as though someone you admire is watching your every move.
Step 4, repair people's problems without being intrusive, do nice things without becoming a slave, lend people an ear so that they are heard, basically give people that missing not-so-tangible thing they need.
Step 5, friends will come naturally as a result of Step 4, and a network of acquaintances will grow as word-of-mouth of your awesomeness spreads. Keep up the good work!
Step 6, decide which of these "friends" you actually want.
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